Author Topic: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice  (Read 1524 times)

Offline Nightscape

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Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« on: 01 of May of 2014, 01:27:50 PM »
It's that time again--MAXI'S BIRTHDAY! Let's jump in mid-party...

Maxi: Whoa, man... Another birthday party!? Thanks so much!

Kim: We owe you so much, Maxi!

Adelheid: We really don't...

Kim: *strikes pose* BUT WE DO! Because without Maxi who would bring forth NUNCHUK JUSTICE?

Seo Yong: I'm pretty sure that's not a thing, but I like today, because no one makes fun of me.

Dong Hwan: Hey, man, I'll make fun of you. Don't you worry about that! Just gotta finish this bomb-awesome cake first!

Seo: *sniffles*

Baedal: *gestures with index finger* I second the making fun of the wimp motion!

Seo: *sobs* IT WAS ONLY ONE TOURNAMENT!

Kim: And it would have been two had you not FAILED SO VERY HARD!

Seo: *runs out* I'LL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN!

Kim: *heroically points* Jae Hoon! Go and makes sure he doesn't harm himself--again. This is not a time for anguish... It is a time for JUSTI--MAXI'S BIRTHDAY!

Maxi: Yeah, thanks, guys! I really appreciate everything. Every year you do this and--

May Lee: I got you an album of photos of me dressed up like Ivy!

Chae Lim: I got you the same album of her, but with my face photoshopped onto her body.

May Lee: *nudges Maxi* Lemme know what you think there, huh, you scurvy dog you!

Maxi: *cringes* Aren't you like 17? Or something? That's really creepy.

Dong Hwan: *swipes disk* CLAIMED for private research! *runs off with May and Chae chasing after him*

Maxi: Aaaaanyway, thanks guys. I really love what you all do protecting Southtown and teaching martial arts and beating Astaroth to a pulp and leaving me the head of his axe with his still beating heart attached to it.

Jhun: *nods and tips drink* Yup.

Maxi: I wish I could return the favor somehow.

Kim: No need, Maxi. You have done enough for us.

Adelheid: Literally nothing at all, which is apparently enough to garner acceptance around here. *shrugs* Kinda puts that whole "Rugal story arc" in a new perspective, huh?

Rose: Oh, brother, I'm quite certain these little jaunts aren't canon.

Choi: *pops out of trashcan* The best part of these soirees is how they're actually happening!

Chang: *eating everything to include things not edible* Yeah, so canon it hurts.

Kim: Indeed, slaves--students--very canon.

Rose: *blinks* Well.

Adelheid: This... is... *sighs*

Soiree: Hey, someone say my name? Is that cake? Pay tribute to the new bosses of Southtown with that cake, bro!

Kim: CAKE FOR ALL!

Everyone except Adelheid and Rose: CAKE FOR ALL! CAKE FOR ALL! FAT PRINCESS! CAKE FOR ALL!

Adelheid: At least the cake is good.

***

WATAA!!!

I bet you thought I forgot.

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Offline Sera

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #1 on: 02 of May of 2014, 02:08:31 AM »
[...]

I bet you thought I forgot.

Sorry this year I actually forgot =(.
Anyway, a bit belated Happy Birthday to Maxi!


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Offline Don Vecta

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #2 on: 02 of May of 2014, 09:33:43 PM »
I didn't. I pushed the envelope! Happy birthday, Nigh-- ermmm... Maxi! Tradition approved!

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Offline Sera

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #3 on: 01 of May of 2015, 01:16:49 AM »
This thread isn't very active, but Happy Birthday to Maxi anyway!


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Offline Nightscape

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #4 on: 01 of May of 2015, 02:08:52 AM »
You all posted while I was still trying to formulate comedy! I can't just NOT post on this momentous day!

***

At the Baedal's HQ in Italy...

Kim: Haaaaappy Biiiirth--

Adelheid: STOP! EVERYONE JUST STOP FOR FIVE MINUTES! I have something I've been wanting to say for years now!

*stunned silence*

Adelheid: I know exactly what's going to happen. It happens every single year. We all get together and celebrate Maxi's birthday. Kim admonishes Seo Yong for no reason--

Seo: *sobs* It's truuuuuuue!

Adelheid: Ahem--And then we all give gifts to Maxi.

Jhun: Yeah, that sounds about right. What's your point?

Baedal: And yeah, you totally don't get five minutes so get that point moving. I'm trying to tear into this cake right now. YA HEARD?

Adelheid: Okay. *takes a deep breath* Why do we do this every year? Maxi isn't even a member of the team! Meanwhile, we haven't fought any crime, gone on any misadventures, given out any "words of wisdom," helped anyone, rehabilitated anything or anyone, made any new friends, recruited any new fighters, resolved any past indiscretions, reduced any crime rates, trained anyone, or--

Dong Hwan: *coughs* Gotten into any trouble?

Adelheid: ...Er... What?

Jae Hoon: Or maybe beat up any otherwise innocent people?

Adelheid: Well, I suppose, but--

May Lee: Pretty sure we haven't even made the news recently for destroying any public property. That's kind of unusual.

Adelheid: That's not the point I'm trying to--

Chae Lim: We also haven't come at odds with any of our longstanding foes.

Adelheid: ... True.

Kim: *teeth glistening* And I STILL look quite handsome.

Jhun: *dreamy eyes* I still love Athena.

Baedal: *blasts loud hip-hop beat* And I STILL run these streets.

Shizuka: *turns off beat* Last one, not true.

Choi and Chang: *points at Baedal* Negative yardage on the kicker!

Baedal: NO ONE ASKED ANY OF Y'ALL FOOLS!

Kim: I guess what we are trying to say, Adelheid, is that maybe you should just shut up.

*everyone nods in agreement*

Seo Yong: *drying tears* Yeah, you should probably just shut up.

Jae Hoon: Please don't speak out of turn, Mr. Bernstein.

Dong Hwan: Get bent. We're trying to have fun over here and Maxi is a good guy.

May Lee: *sighs* And handsome. *straightens up* But yeah, shut up, Adelheid.

Adelheid: Wha--I--But...

Rose: *pats Adelheid on the shoulder* Maybe next year, brother.

Adelheid: *groans* Happy Birthday, Maxi...

Everyone Else Together: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Maxi: You shouldn't have!!! I love all of you guys. *looks over at Adelheid* Even you, you bitter little punk.

Adelheid: IS ANYONE ELSE NOT SEEING THI--

Shut up, Adelheid! Your dad is dead and you're boring. ONWARD TO JUSTICE!


***

WATAA!!! Can't even catch a break from the narrator, can you Adelheid?
« Last Edit: 01 of May of 2015, 02:10:33 AM by Nightscape »

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Offline Don Vecta

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #5 on: 01 of May of 2015, 03:50:54 AM »
Hell yeah~! Another year already? Poor Bernie Jr., he gets the short end of the stick... and Seo, lol.

So, once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JARV---MAXI~! ;D

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Offline Nightscape

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #6 on: 01 of May of 2016, 06:32:23 AM »
It's that time again...

***

At Kim Kaphwan's Justice HQ, balloons and streamers are flying in preparation for celebration...

Adelheid: *fidgeting and annoyed* ...

Jhun: What’s up, Adelheid?

Adelheid: You know it's been exactly ONE YEAR and we've not stopped a single criminal, declared anyone evil, or even done so much as help clean up the Southtown streets?

Jhun: *chuckles* Don't get caught up worrying about small things.

Adelheid: But this is the ENTIRE point of this organization! *paces back and forth* We fight crime! We stop evil! YOU ALL KIDNAPPED ME AGAINST MY WILL!

Jhun: *puts his arm around Adelheid's neck to comfort him* Everyone is kidnapped eventually, Adelheid.

Dong Hwan: *groans* Some people are born kidnapped...

Adelheid: But why is this the ONE thing we always run back to? Why do we always have to--

*Maxi enters with everyone else, they're all carrying gifts*

Adelheid: *stamping foot* GOSH DARN IT NO! NEVER AGAIN!

Kim: Calm down, fellow Patron of Justice, what perturbs you on this glorious day?

Rose: *slices cake* I think brother has yet to drink the kool-aid on this birthday business. *twirls around with cake in hand* But some of us can fully take advantage of such occasions without remorse. It’s the Bernstein way, you know?

Kang Baedal: Bruh... Just live the life. It's gonna happen every year forever. Hashtag Birthday Life. Hashtag Cervantes for President. Hashtag Making Hell Great Again. Hashtag Hashtag.

Adelheid: NO! NO MORE! Maxi is a pirate! A PIRATE! He should be on your list, Master Kim!

Kim: *stern* Far be it from me to judge the actions of others. Truly, Maxi has his reasons for the path he has chosen. We must hold hands and seek a peaceful resolution. We must strive to see the good in everyone. *teary eyed* This is the true path of JUSTICE and rehabilitation!

Adelheid: OH HECK NO! NO! NO! NO! *points at Kim* YOU PUSHED GALFORD DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS! How can you make a judgement call against HIM and not a PIRATE!?

Kang: Galford is a douchebag.

Jhun: Never liked his dog.

May Lee: No points. Would not date.

Kim: He is better looking than me. *poses* We can't have that!

Adelheid: *trembling* I... REFUSE... To celebrate... Maxi's birthday YET AGAIN! It's ridiculous!

May Lee: Okay.

Jae Hoon: That's fine.

Kim: So be it.

Rose: *eats cake*

Maxi: *twirling nunchuk* Suits me just fine. I can't take all the glory.

Adelheid: *shoulders slump forward* ... What?

Maxi: Yeah, man. It's cool. I'm fine with not having a party. Life is my party! *leaps and kicks in the air* Wootoo!

Kim: It is a tad bit boorish of you, Adelheid, but yes. Today is not the day for that.

Adelheid: OH, THANK GOD! Finally! I saw all the presents and thought we were going to celebrate again!

Chae Lim: Nope, no. Not this time.

Jhun: Nah, not today.

Seo Yong: I've been so alone this past year... *sniffle* So alone...

Kim: Please, Adelheid! We have heard your cries. Your sad, pathetic, jealousy fueled—yet impassioned— cries! We will not be celebrating Maxi's birthday this year!

Adelheid: Seriously!?

Rose: *eats more cake*

Adelheid: Wow! Maybe we can get this organization back on the rails then! Really serve our destined purpose! I heard there was a new KOF happening this year so you know the boss is probably evil! We should investigate.

Kim: *looking in mirror, grinning widely* Hmmm… Yes? Right. Of course.

Kang: *texting Shizuka* Sandwich… Now… Fire emoji… Smiley Face…

Adelheid: Well… *laughs* I saw those gifts and I--

Everyone Else Suddenly: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TARMA ROVING!

*Tarma comes smashing through the wall in a Metal Slug*

Tarma: OH YEAH! *hops out* May 1st, 2005, baby! Don't ask how that makes any sense, but I'm one hit away from death and ready for the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

*everyone claps*

Adelheid: *staring blankly at the others as they celebrate* Rose...

Rose: *wipes mouth* Yes, brother?

Adelheid: Give me some cake... And an aspirin...

Happy Birthday Maxi AND Tarma!

***

WATAA!!!

I put my age into an old Metal Slug game and it told me that Tarma and I share the same date. Who knew?

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Offline Don Vecta

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #7 on: 01 of May of 2016, 07:05:16 AM »
My my, so now there's not only Maxi's B-day but also Tarma's? This is going to be interesting from this year on.

Tradition approved. Happy b-day! :D

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Offline Sera

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #8 on: 22 of May of 2016, 02:53:08 AM »
After the failure of my previous motherboard I've been four weeks without my own computer for various reasons, so I hadn't had the chance to post in this thread. That doesn't mean I will forget to honour the tradition, so belated Happy Birthday!


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Offline Running Wild

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #9 on: 23 of May of 2016, 10:22:51 PM »
SOMEWHERE IN SOUTH TOWN

DUN DUN DA DUN! DA DA DUN DUN!

A large well built man in black with slicked back blonde hair came flying out the entrance of a bar. He tumbled on the ground, but managed to recover. He cursed and smashes his fist into the pavement, angry, and stood up. It was none other than RYUJI YAMAZAKI.

Suddenly a rough looking man in a black bomber jacket, blue jeans, and a black trucker cap that read FATAL FURY stepped outside. He taunted the man 'HAY C'MAWON". He dusted off his shoulder and fixed his cap. The man, the legend... TERRY BOGARD!

IT'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED.

IT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO BE.

IT'S NOT HARD TO WONDER... IS IT REAL... OR JUST A DREAM!?????

CUT!

Terry: ... How was that?

Cheng Sinzan, sitting in a directors chair, applauded Terry. It was some kind of movie set where Cheng was filming a new trailer for GAROU DENSETSU PREMIUM SPECIAL.

Cheng: Great work Terry, this is gonna be the best trailer yet.
Terry: YAH I HAWPE SOH! SAWTHIGS GOTTA SPARK FRAWM DIS.

Ryuji Yamazaki was piping mad and stomped over towards Cheng.

Yamazaki: YA DAMN FAT GEEZER. Always giving me the shitty parts! I want some action!
Cheng: Calm down for christ sake, you got a fight scene coming.
Yamazaki: Really? Who am I fighting?
Cheng: Alice.
Yamazaki: FUCK YOU! I QUIT!

Yamazaki tore his shirt to shreds and walked out on the set.

Terry: WUT HIS PRBLAM?
Cheng: He hasn't been in anything "new" since Neowave. The man has issues. Also he just found out he's only popular because of Capcom vs SNK 2.
Terry: AH! I SEE! SHAME AS RAWK!
Cheng: I feel worse for Haohmaru.
Terry: GOT DHWAMN WUT HAPPEN DO US!? WE USHED TEW BEH DA BIT SHAWTS NAH WE NAWBODTTY.
Cheng: Times are tough Terry... I... ah...ahhh...
Terry: NOH CANG! DUN DEW IT! STAPH!
Cheng: AHHH.... AHH.... CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Cheng unleashed a powerful sneeze, blowing Terry and his entire camera crew away, as well as destroying the set.

TO BE CONTINUED?

Offline Don Vecta

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #10 on: 23 of May of 2016, 10:50:39 PM »
*AHT ATCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!*

Awesome, keep it coming! Bring the justice back!

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Offline Sera

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #11 on: 24 of May of 2016, 01:14:41 AM »
*Ryuji for KOF XIV*

*Terrynglish forever*


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Offline Nightscape

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #12 on: 01 of May of 2017, 05:53:42 AM »
Congrats, Sera, your petition went through!

***

At the Justice HQ...

Adelheid: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WE'VE NOT DONE ANYTHING FOR THE LAST YEAR. WE'RE NOT DOING THIS!

Kang Baedal: Gotdang, man, take a chill pill. You know you can't escape frooooooom deeeeaaa--Birthday parties and shiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Adelheid: *points at Kang* WHY IS HE HERE? He's like some weird amalgamation of cruddy memes, bad attitude, and failure!

Kang: Whoa, dude, bro, brotha, bruh... Chill.

Kim: There is no need for anger or discord, Adelheid. *poses* For today is a marvelous day to celebrate the lives of two great men! *sunlight hits Kim perfectly* TARMA AND MAXI!

*everyone appauds and toasts*

Adelheid: And what would your master and his wife say about the lack of justice being dispensed.

Kim: Hmmm?

Adelheid: Your instructor, Gang-Il? His--decidely creepy--wife, Luong?

Kim: *shaking head* I think you may have lost me, Son of Berstein...

Adelheid: Holy crap, Master Kim, are you serious right now?

Kim: Does anyone know who he is talking about?

*everyone shakes head and continues drinking kool-aid*

Jhun: I don't know of any gangs or Lui Kangs.

Adelheid: Okay, okay... I see what's going on. You're embarrassed by your instructor so you're pretending he doesn't exist. Kim, if I may, I belive that you--

Dong Hwan: Adelheid is just whining, because he literally has no birthday.

Adelheid: What!? That's absurd! How could--

Rose: *sipping kool-aid* It's true. Sad, but true.

Adelheid: ROSE!?

Kang: Not birthday having, move stealing, flying airship piano pushing little biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii--

Adelheid: WHY IS EVERYONE LIKE THIS ONCE A YEAR EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR!?

Tarma: *crashes Metal Slug through wall* OH YEAH! You guys shouldn't have. *jumps out and gains temporary invincibility, because c'mon, that's how the game works*

Maxi: *climbs out* HAAAA! It's really spacious in there.

May Lee: It's bigger on the inside!

Kang and Dong Hwan: That's what she said!

May Lee: Yeah... I did... What's your point?

Chae Lim: May, they... Nevermind...

Tarma: Ooooh, kool-aid! Pass me a cup.

Maxi: This is so much more fun than the time my entire crew got murdered!

Adelheid: EVERYONE STOP DRINKING THE KOOL-AID AND LISTEN TO ME!!!!!

Everyone Else except Adelheid: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TARMA AND MAXI!!!

Seo Yong: You guys, I didn't even get lines last year. I feel like you're really taking me for granted... I try really hard to--

Everyone: SHUT UP, SEO YONG! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!

Jhun: Go make yourself useful and actually win a tournament.

Kang: *high fives Jhun* HASHTAG BURN WARD!

Dong Hwan: BA-ZING!

Seo Yong: *sobs*

Adelheid: At least I'm not the most neglected member of the group. *pouring out kool-aid* This is for justice...


***

And another year, another celebration for our guys, Maxi and Tarma!

WATAA!!!

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Offline Sera

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Re: Kim Kaphwan's Thread of Justice
« Reply #13 on: 08 of May of 2017, 01:41:57 AM »
Congrats, Sera, your petition went through!

Eheh, thank you ^_^. Congratulations to you for keeping the tradition alive, and (belated) Happy Birthday!


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Offline Nightscape

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