I'm always willing to fufill a request from a long time reader (or anyone for that matter)! Good things come out of requests... Like the Ikari Files and certain songs on the radio.
Kim: The fight for greater truth is filled with adversity. It is a labor of love that I tackle with full confidence and vigor! One day I will see a world free of evil. A world I, the Justice Alley, and the do-gooders of the world can live in, free from the clutches of malevolence. Best yet, I WILL KNOW THAT IT WAS MADE SO BY MY HAND! The world will have KIM KAPHWAN to thank and, to a much lesser extent, the Justice Alley! Every righteous thing I desire will come to pass and every enemy will topple before my might. The spirit of Tae Kwon Do rages within me and fuels me onward to glory! Villains will know no rest; fugitives will be able to hide no longer! I WILL RIGHT WRONGS AND SET THIS WORLD STRAIGHT! And I will look good the entire time I am doing so!AXEL STONE
! It is time to get off the street and step up against the Justice Alley!
You gang-busting nice guy wannabe thugs are all alike. I would say that you are no better than Cody Tavers, but he has since reformed himself thanks to my guidance and many, many kicks to the head. I believe you might be due for the same treatment! Perhaps after your brain is jostled around a bit you may be able to think clearly enough to see the errors of your ways. Either that or you will become so numb from brain damage that you will not be able to function in the real world and thus become unable to commit any more violent crimes. IT IS A WIN-WIN SITUATION IN THE EYES OF JUSTICE!
So tell me Axel, you used to be a police detective? Where in the code of the law does it say that you can run around town beating up random delinquents? I will give you a hint: IT DOES NOT! Do you think you are making anything better by going out and smashing in the faces of some unwitting vagrant? Your methods need revision, Stone, because nothing positive ever comes from violence! The only way to truly reform someone is to beat them to near death AS WELL AS force them to wash your clothes and mow your lawn for the rest of their natural lives (or until Jhun let’s them escape). Only then will they truly learn from their mistakes. Unfortunately, you live in the city so I doubt you have a decent lawn to cut. Not only that, but I have not seen you wearing a great variety of clothing so you probably do not have much to wash. Do not let that deter you from laundering what you have, though; you smell terrible! I have nothing against wearing the same uniform over and over again, but washing is NOT an option; it is a MUST!
Who told you that you could open a Karate dojo? From what I have seen you do not know the first thing about Karate, moreover martial arts in general. Are you one of those fraud teachers that watch a martial arts film, copies the moves, and hocks it to guileless children as “self-defense”? YOU ARE A HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON! And do NOT let me catch you copying moves off of me either. I may be the greatest champion this world has ever known, but I will not tolerate plagiarism! After I am done with you I am heading straight to your dojo and showing your students just what kind of bloodied, beat up sham you are!
I will let you pass when it comes to picking up weapons off the battlefield, Axel, but eating whole chickens that fall out of trash cans you destroy? That is disgusting! On that note, I seriously doubt the people of your city like you destroying every single barrel, box, and all-around breakable object on the streets in a putrid hunt for sustenance! Do you even know what “sanitary” or “hygiene” means? I doubt it. Maintaining survival is all fine and good, but try to have a little decency, man! Unless you are chowing down on a heaping plate of JUSTICE I sincerely do not believe that such drastic measures need to be taken.
Karate is obviously doing you no good. No worries, friend, because I am more that willing to train you in the fine art of Tae Kwon Do! When I am done with you I expect you will be able to kick higher, run faster, and clean dishes like they have never been cleaned before! AKU WA YURUSAN! Your Grand Upper does not stand a chance against my Hien Zan! HAAA!!!
Kim will beat-em-up and break-em-down!