Kim: During my epic journey down the path of justice I have faced many evils: large, small, earthly, and otherworldly. None of these foul creations thwarted my ongoing quest to rid the world of evil. I continue undaunted, fearing nothing but the true power which is Tae Kwon Do and possibly running out of hair gel. NEVER WILL I FALTER! Dedication drives me, truth guides me, SHINING TEETH SHOW THE WAY! No man, creature, or Athena fan will stand between me and ULTIMATE JUSTICE! I am unstoppable! My thirst for righteousness is unquenchable! My resolve is unshakable! MY GOOD LOOKS ARE UNBELIEVABLE! Let it be known that KIM KAPHWAN will never be defeated! Let the people give credit where credit is due! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!CTHULHU!
Soon “Dead Cthulhu” will be more than just a title!
You foul, disgusting, monsterous… MONSTER! They say you strike abject fear and horror in your victims. You have been known to drive even the sanest men out of their minds with a mere glance. You devour souls and host sardonic talk shows
! I WILL NOT HAVE IT! I fear nothing, you tentacled mass of—of—STUFF! You came from space to destroy all of mankind? I came from Southtown to BEAT YOU DOWN!
The time I start fearing sushi is the day I die, Cthulhu. As far as I am concerned you are little more than an unfortunately deformed squid! You know what I do with squid Cthulhu? NOTHING! Squid do not concern me and NEITHER DO YOU! Nevertheless, you have left me little choice but to take action. I will not allow an overgrown, grotesque cephalopod rampage through my streets and terrorize the innocent! I do no fear you, Dread Cthulhu, just as I do not fear my lunch, Red Lobster (although those cheddar biscuits are scary delicious), or Snorks. In other words, I DO NOT FEAR SEAFOOD! Funny story... I EAT SEAFOOD! That is correct, Cthulhu, I AM GOING TO EAT YOU! And by eat I mean declare you evil and outfit you in the largest gi known to man!
You might be a powerful alien being with vast magical prowess, but I am a Patron of Justice with EXCELLENT HAIR. YOU CAN NOT WIN! No amount of magic or physical strength can stop me! You can have all your cultists, Cthulhu—I HAVE RABID FANBOYS! That is right, WHO IS THE SCARY ONE NOW!? You might have a bunch of random people dressed in robes worshipping your second coming, but I have got guys wearing t-shirts with my face on them praising my amazing feats!
So, you big green thing, I bet you wish you stayed in bed! You just woke up with one angry Patron coming at you FOOTFIRST! Maybe you can beat me in your eternal dreams, but you will never triumph over JUSTICE! I love my craft, Cthulhu; I love it way to much to lose to you! AKU WA YURUSAN! And do not let me catch you near any Japanese school girls! HAAA!!!
That is righteous which can eternal fight.
And with handsome visage do what is right.
Cthulhu and I are pretty close. I've posed with him in pictures before.