Kim Kap Hwan's Thread of Justice

[Nightscape]

Another day in the lives of the Justice Alley!

Jhun: (sitting while reading a paper with earbuds in, listening to Athena)

Kim: (enters with florish) JHUN!

Jhun: (startled, rips earbuds out of ears) Whoa, what!?

Kim: Just the man I wanted to see!

Jhun: (confused) Ummmm… Okay?

Kim: I know you may not believe what I am about to say, but—(dramatic pose, speaking quietly) This has to be said… (loudly) Jhun, I would like to say that I respect you for everything you do around here and I completely forgive you for allowing Rugal to take over the world when I left to help train the Striders.

Jhun: (raises eyebrow, puts down paper) Huh? (looks around) Is this some kind of joke?

Kim: NO! I would never mislead you, friend! (points) I honestly believe that you are an excellent rival and righteous hero!

Jhun: (skeptical) Yeah… Okay. What’s really going on, Kim?

Kim: This is it! I want you to know that I take back everything I have ever said about you, your hair, your mother, your taste in music, and your poor choice of wardrobe!

Jhun: Wait… What did you say about my mothe—

Kim: YOU ARE A INTEGRAL PART OF THE TEAM!

Jhun: …

Kim: (grinning madly)

Jhun: (uneasy) Well… Kim… I… (brushes back hair and clears throat) This is all a little weird, but thanks. I’m glad you finally recognize that fighting evil is a team effo—

Kim: (shouting) You and Kang both have done nothing, but help in the war against EVIL!

Jhun: .   .   .   .   .

Kim: AKU WA YURUSAN! Say it with me, pal! AKU WA—

Jhun: (sighs) It’s April first isn’t it? (looks over at calendar) Yeah… Yeah it is. (groans) April Fool’s, huh? Wow. Nice, Kim. Real mature. (picks up paper, sits down, and reinserts earbuds)

Kim: (laughing) But no wait, Jhun! I really do respect you! (shakes Jhun’s shoulder) On top of that, you are better looking than me as well! I really do love my sons more than tacos! GALFORD IS A NICE GUY!

Jhun: (turns up volume)

[Don Vecta]

lol, Jhun didn't fell for it.

Care to write other pranks that Kim might do to the other Justice Alley members?

[Sera]

I'm not usually fond of April fools and April fool-related things, but I liked this one =).

[Nightscape]

Thanks everyone!

Sorry I haven't been posting as much recently, this deployment has really sucked the creativity out of me. Anyway, I've been updating the blog every few days with rewritten versions of older posts and whatnot. This is one of the first declarations I ever made...

***

Kim: Adventurers are fools. They search long and hard for treasure and desire to get rich quick. All the while they overindulge and step on whoever gets in their way. THEY ARE ALL A BUNCH OF OUTLAWS! First of all, no treasure in the universe will ever compare to the reward you receive in exchange for upholding JUSTICE! Unless said reward happens to be a dinner with me or a lifetime supply of toothpaste, I firmly believe that the only real “treasures” out there are the treasures of peace, wisdom, and exceptionally well kept hair. ALL THESE THINGS COME ABOUT THROUGH JUSTICE! Secondly, how can you expect to get anywhere if you make a slew of enemies on the way to your goal? You get more bees with honey than vinegar! TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED! Or… STEP HARDER! That is to say, if you are going to step on someone and be a jerk about it, you may as well step hard enough that whoever you crush will not interfere with your future goals… Ahem… FOR JUSTICE!

BONNE JENET! Avast, ye old salt!

You scurvy, bilge-sucking wench! You do not labor to earn your living, you prefer to find and pilfer swag! You and that drunken band you lead wander around causing trouble and looking for fights regardless of decency or order. Life is one big party to you. YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A VAGRANT! There is no place for pirates in this modern day and age: you and your laughable crew are obsolete. What made you think you could up and join the Fatal Fury tournament, moreover the King of Fighters contest? You do not know the first thing about fighting! Hitting someone with a shoe is fine and good in movies and sitcoms, but it only makes you look like a fool in the ring. WE HAVE NO NEED FOR YOUR COMIC RELIEF! Heck… You are a paltry excuse for a warrior and you dress like a street walking wench! I barely consider you a street fighter, let alone a challenge for the likes of me! Striking people with footwear—humph—I DO NOT EVEN WEAR SHOES! The whole notion is ridiculous.

Listen up, Jenet, it is time to drop anchor and go on shore leave. I am going to use your face to swab my dojang. When I get done with you, you are going to wish you were at Davy Jones's locker! AKU WA YURUSAN! Belay the bilge, it is time to kiss the gunner's daughter! HAAA!!!
---
Justice is hard to understand sometimes.

***

I'll keep posting stuff like this up on the blog as well as Kim's "thoughts," but convos will stay here.

WATAA!!!

[Kei]

I'm surprised Kim didn't get balistic on how Jenet blows kisses to everyone with that cute little heart comming out XD
\(^O^)/

[rikasaurus]

Hahaha, I really love the way you characterized Kim throughout your stories.

[Nightscape]

Thanks, all!

It's almost that time again...

***

Planning time at the Justice Alley…

Jae Hoon: (flipping through photo album) It’s almost that time of year again, father.

Kim: (nods) Indeed, son. Soon we will be celebrating a joyous occasion with a fellow Patron of Justice!

Jae: (closes album) He’ll love it!

May Lee: So what are we going to do for Maxi’s birthday this year, Master Kim?

Kim: (deep in thought) Hmmm… I was thinking balloons—lots of balloons.

Chae Lim: How about ice cream cake?

Kim: (chuckles) Now, now, Chae… Let us not get ahead of ourselves.

Chae: (bows) My apologies, Master Kim.

(Jhun enters with Dong Hwan)

Jhun: Hey, what’s going on in here? Some kind of meeting? Why wasn’t I told?

Dong Hwan: I don’t really care if there is a meeting, but I heard someone say something about an ice cream cake.

Jhun: (sighs) As did I, but I’m more interested in—

Dong: (dreamily) I could eat the crap outta some ice cream cake right about now…

Jhun: …

Kim: (beckons Jhun) Join us, friend. We are planning for Maxi’s upcoming birthday party.

Dong: (gasps) So I did hear something about cake!!!

Jae: Ah, yes. I can never get enough cake… (creepy grin) Remember that time you, me and Hotaru got together and—

Jhun: ENOUGH ABOUT CAKE! (points at Kim) Why is it that every year we celebrate that pirate’s birthday, but you don’t have the decency to remember mine OR anyone else’s here in the Justice Alley?

Kim: Um…

Chae: Well…

May: You see…

Jae: The first of May is the same birthday as the wri—

Jhun: (turns away) I don’t want to hear it! Every year it’s “Maxi this” and “Maxi that.” Didn’t you declare that guy evil, Kim?

Kim: Now why would I do something as absurd as that? (shuts eyes and crosses arms; low voice) I do not remember such an event.

Jhun: Oh, really? (pulls out tape recorder and presses play; Kim’s voices can be heard from the tape) “Chuck the ‘chuks, chump!” (fast forwards) “You lily-livered dirtbag!” (fast forwards) “What say you now, LANDLUBBER?”

Kim: Hmmm… That could be anyone!

Jhun: “I should have beaten you down when I had the chance, Maxi!”

(awkward silence)

Jhun: Well?

Kim: (pushes Jhun out of the room) Do not be a spoilsport, Jhun. People change. How about you go back to your room and go idolize Athena while we finish preparing for the celebration! (kicks Jhun into the hallway and slams the door)

Jhun: (groans) Psssh… Whatever. (walks off)

To be continued…

***

The tradition continues! WATAA!!!

[ZX Virtuous]

Oh, THE Thread of Justice!  One of the highlight attractions in my visits to Cyberfanatix.  Nightscape, your declarations towards many people, be they for good or evil, have rarely failed to make me smile.  I would love to do some co-declarations with as the schoolguy struggling to gain respect from other KOF competitors: SHINGO YABUKI!  Or, I could make my own thread in this FAN-tastic forum.  Either way, I love your work!  Keep it up!

"You can't spell justice without JUST ICE!  It quenches the hot-headed villanous-would-be's in an instant!  WATAA!"

[Nightscape]

You're more than welcome to join, ZX. Fresh material is always good! It'll be like the good ole days when Shen, Self, and Izlude used to post.

***

The anticipated day has arrived at the Justice Alley HQ! Let the celebrations begin!

Justice Alley: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAXI!

Maxi: (blushing) Oh, you guys shouldn’t have!

Jhun: (mumbles) You’re damn right we shouldn’t have…

Jae Hoon: You deserve all the love we can give, Maxi!

Seo Yong: The love I’ll never have… (pouts)

Kim: (pushes past Seo Yong and claps a hand on Maxi’s back) You are a great man! (huge grin) We all appreciate everything you do, Maxi, you’re a credit to us all!

(all nod in agreement except for Jhun)

Jhun: (baffled) What? What are you talking about, Kim? What has Maxi done to—

Kim: (hands Maxi a certificate) You are now an official member of the Justice Alley!

(everyone but Dong Hwan and Jhun applauds)

Adelheid: It took me and my sister a long time to get where you are now, Mr. Maxi, but you deserve it!

Chae Lim: Let’s give three cheers to Maxi! (pumps fist) Hip-hip HOORAY!

Jae Hoon: (throws confetti) Hip-hip HOORAY!

Seo Yong: Hip-Hip—

Jhun: STOOOOOP RIGHT NOW!!!

Seo Yong: (downtrodden) Oh…

Kim: What is the meaning of this, Jhun? Is this some sort of prank? HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MAXI’S ANNUAL CELEBRATION WITH YOUR LOUD OUTBURST!

Jhun: Okay, Kim, is this some sort of April Fool’s joke?

Kim: (shocked) What? No! Do not be a fool, Jhun, April is long past!

Dong Hwan: Long past equals yesterday? (reaches for cake)

Jhun: Kim, are you kidding me? Maxi is a vengeful pirate that got his entire crew killed! Isn’t that alone enough for you to declare him evil? (flustered) Not only that, but Maxi is a cheapo, weapon using, button-mashing—

Kim: (shoves Jhun) ENOUGH! I will not have you slander our guest of honor in such a way! You are hereby excluded from today’s festivities!

Jhun: (turns to leave) FINE! I never wanted to be a part of this dumb “birthday bash” anyway! (storms off) And get this… I didn’t get Maxi a gift! (leaves and slams door)

(momentary silence)

Seo Yong: (nervously) Hip-hip?

All except Dong Hwan: HOORAY!

Seo Yong: (sigh of relief) That’s better…

May Lee: Master Jhun is just jealous! (assumes hero pose) A display of such boorish behavior is unbecoming of a noble Patron of Justice!

Dong Hwan: (eats cake) Can’t blame the guy, though. I mean, Maxi is a pirate and he is a cheap bastard.

Maxi: WHAT!? That is not true! It takes precise skill to wield these ‘chuks! (flails about randomly) Waaa-watooo-waaaaa-HA! (falls over)

Dong Hwan: I rest my case… (wanders off)

And yet another May first comes and goes, but this time with a twist. The newest Patron of Justice is MAXI!!! AKU WA YURUSAN!

***

Man, I wish my May first was this exciting...

WATAA!!!

[Don Vecta]

I wonder what are the thoughts of Kim now that he's teaming up with Bear and Hwa...

[Nightscape]

I don't think Kim really thinks about the things he says and does.

Speaking of which... I feel like declaring some evil. Throwing old stuff up on the blog is all well and good, but I need new material. Unless you all are dying to see someone SMASHED then CTHULHU is next.

WATAA!!!

Quote of the Day... FROM KIM:

"Everytime I look up at the morning sky and see the sun shining down on my majestic frame I think, "What would the world do without me?" Indeed, without me the world would be an ugly place... An ugly, Athena loving, move-copying, freeloading, long-hair-having, only-slightly-more-tolerable-than-Kang-Baedal place... AND NOBODY WANTS THAT! Good thing we have billboards around to keep that sort of thing in check! AKU WA YURUSAN!"

[Tizoc]

I don't think Kim really thinks about the things he says and does.

Speaking of which... I feel like declaring some evil. Throwing old stuff up on the blog is all well and good, but I need new material. Unless you all are dying to see someone SMASHED then CTHULHU is next.

WATAA!!!

All I got from this post is Kim Kap Hwan vs. Cthulhu, kindly tell us this epic my good man.

[Nightscape]

All I got from this post is Kim Kap Hwan vs. Cthulhu, kindly tell us this epic my good man.

In due time, my friend, in due time...

And you responded really quick, so quick that you beat me modifying my previous post. That's almost JUSTICE quick!

[hybridial]

Kim Kap Hwan vs Cthulhu is a match for the ages.

Would be even more awesome if Cutie Honey cameo'd 

[Nightscape]

Kim: During my epic journey down the path of justice I have faced many evils: large, small, earthly, and otherworldly. None of these foul creations thwarted my ongoing quest to rid the world of evil. I continue undaunted, fearing nothing but the true power which is Tae Kwon Do and possibly running out of hair gel. NEVER WILL I FALTER! Dedication drives me, truth guides me, SHINING TEETH SHOW THE WAY! No man, creature, or Athena fan will stand between me and ULTIMATE JUSTICE! I am unstoppable! My thirst for righteousness is unquenchable! My resolve is unshakable! MY GOOD LOOKS ARE UNBELIEVABLE! Let it be known that KIM KAPHWAN will never be defeated! Let the people give credit where credit is due! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

CTHULHU! Soon “Dead Cthulhu” will be more than just a title!

You foul, disgusting, monsterous… MONSTER! They say you strike abject fear and horror in your victims. You have been known to drive even the sanest men out of their minds with a mere glance. You devour souls and host sardonic talk shows! I WILL NOT HAVE IT! I fear nothing, you tentacled mass of—of—STUFF! You came from space to destroy all of mankind? I came from Southtown to BEAT YOU DOWN!

The time I start fearing sushi is the day I die, Cthulhu. As far as I am concerned you are little more than an unfortunately deformed squid! You know what I do with squid Cthulhu? NOTHING! Squid do not concern me and NEITHER DO YOU! Nevertheless, you have left me little choice but to take action. I will not allow an overgrown, grotesque cephalopod rampage through my streets and terrorize the innocent! I do no fear you, Dread Cthulhu, just as I do not fear my lunch, Red Lobster (although those cheddar biscuits are scary delicious), or Snorks. In other words, I DO NOT FEAR SEAFOOD! Funny story... I EAT SEAFOOD! That is correct, Cthulhu, I AM GOING TO EAT YOU! And by eat I mean declare you evil and outfit you in the largest gi known to man!

You might be a powerful alien being with vast magical prowess, but I am a Patron of Justice with EXCELLENT HAIR. YOU CAN NOT WIN! No amount of magic or physical strength can stop me! You can have all your cultists, Cthulhu—I HAVE RABID FANBOYS! That is right, WHO IS THE SCARY ONE NOW!? You might have a bunch of random people dressed in robes worshipping your second coming, but I have got guys wearing t-shirts with my face on them praising my amazing feats!

So, you big green thing, I bet you wish you stayed in bed! You just woke up with one angry Patron coming at you FOOTFIRST! Maybe you can beat me in your eternal dreams, but you will never triumph over JUSTICE! I love my craft, Cthulhu; I love it way to much to lose to you! AKU WA YURUSAN! And do not let me catch you near any Japanese school girls! HAAA!!!
---
That is righteous which can eternal fight.
And with handsome visage do what is right.

***
Cthulhu and I are pretty close. I've posed with him in pictures before.

WATAA!!!