Kim: Hello, friends, Patrons of Justice, and fans, it has come to my attention that that I have neglected something. Something I should have taken care of over a year ago. It would seem as though certain people do not understand what it means to practice Tae Kwon Do. They do not know what it means to LIVE Tae Kwon Do. Now, Jhun has his issues: the long hair, the "otaku" nature, and unusually violent—and very permanent—means of rehabilitation. And there is Kang Baedal: the loud, unkempt, salacious, and rude individual he is. Let's not forget Seo: the crybaby and failure extraordinaire. No, this person is not any colleague, student, or prisone—reformed patron of mine. This person—this woman—is a sham. This female seems to believe that Tae Kwon Do is a means to an end, something for her to test her vile nature against her lackluster skills. Well... Unless I've forgotten how...
I AM GOING TO KICK EVIL'S BUTT ONCE AGAIN!
And I am going to kick it so hard that it flies up past the moon, says hello to Galford's ideals on the way up, and smashes straight into JUPITER... AT WHICH POINT IT WILL EXPLODE! An explosion so glorious that not even Clark’s shades will protect his eyes from the brilliant light! THE LIGHT OF JUSTICE!JURI
! Let me show you how to do this Tae Kwon Do thing THE RIGHT WAY!
Okay, girl--and I use that term loosely—where in what school did you learn those strange, purple energy techniques? Those things appear too closely akin to Yagami's wretched flames! Are you cursed or are you using that foul magic as an excuse to cover for your subpar abilities. No amount of purple smoke and mirrors is going to hide your horrible form and sluggish movements. Nor is it hiding any of that skin you are revealing. PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!
And that eye? “Feng Shui Engine?” Fool! I do not need an engine to move the gears of JUSTICE. My legs are pistons, pumping the lifeblood of righteousness through the veins of a BODY OF RECTITUDE! Let it be known that I, KIM KAPHWAN, provide the power and energy for goodness WORLDWIDE! There is not a single country on planet Earth that has not seen or felt my awesome presence! There is not a man alive who does not rest easy knowing that I walk the streets! THERE IS NOT AN EVIL THAT I HAVE NOT YET—or plan to at least—CRUSHED! But you… You and your “Feng Shui Engine” are about to THROW AN AXLE OF WICKEDNESS AND GET KNOCKED OFF YOUR MALEVOLENT ALIGNMENT! That aside, is that thing not one of your eyes? And isn’t Feng Shui related to furniture? Are you not more suited to interior design rather than fighting? There are plenty of cells here on the compound that could use some good luck. Perhaps you can help the Justice Alley out—AFTER AMPLE REHABILITATION!
And now, Juri, you and your Fake Kwon Do are about to fall to my wrath. After I am done with you I am going to find whoever trained you and BEAT THEM TO A PULP! After that I will find everyone they ever trained, the families of said trainees, and their neighbors AND BEAT THEM FOR GOOD MEASURE. Prepare yourself for the ultimate match! AKU WA YURUSAN! Feng Shui only did me good in Animal Crossing! HAAA!!!
Kim: Everything he says is either true or incredibly handsome.
Hey, look! Haven't been here in a while! Cheers from another warzone!