Kim Kap Hwan's Thread of Justice

[Nightscape]

Operation B-Day Bash is underway!

Kim: Once again we would like to wish you happy birthday for your contributions to (raises glass) JUSTICE—

Jhun: (raises glass) The community—

Kang: (fist pumps) THE PARTY PEOPLE—

Seo: My sad, sad life…

Chang & Choi: (raises glass) The prospect of escape—

Chae: (raises glass) Your friends—

Kim Sue Il: (raises bo staff) And the future!

All of Justice Alley: WE SALUTE YOU, MAXI! (throws confetti) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(Adel  slaps his palm against his forehead and leaves)

Maxi: (drinks) Wow you guys, you really shouldn’t! I really appreciate this.

Jae: Well you know the only reason we do this is because your birthday is the same day as—

Kim: MAXI! (points off in random direction) YOU ARE TRULY A GREAT MAN!

Jhun: You, Kim, have truly had too much to drink…

Kim: LET IT BE KNOWN THAT MAXI IS NOW AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE JUSTICE ALLEY!

Jhun: You said that last—

Kim: THE GIFTS! PRESENT THEM TO THE BIRTHDAY MAN… PIRATE… BRUCE LEE THING!

Kang: (sidles up to Maxi) Yo dawg… (hands box)

Maxi: (opens box; shocked) WHOA!

(pulls out hollow, clear nunchuks with nunchuks inside)

Kang: I heard you liked nunchuks…  So I put nunchuks in yo nunchuks so you can WATAA while you ATOOOOO!

Maxi: Thank you, Kang!

Dong Hwan: (hands card) It’s a gift card to “Vengeance R’ Us.” It has everything you need to help you waste your life chasing after something that will never be and continue and endless cycle of violence.

Maxi: Hell yeah! Thanks, Dong! (pockets card)

May Lee: (blushing) This is my favorite cape… I hope you like it…

Maxi: Hey… Thanks, froggy girl. (puts hands on May Lee’s shoulder)

(Chae Lim and May Lee swoon)

Dong Hwan: I got it! (runs over and drags them away) Awwww-right…!

Kim: FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

Seo: Hey! Why does he get to say it and I had a gif—

THE END!

[Don Vecta]

lol Seo always gets interrupted! xD

[Sera]

Maxi's birthday, a classic...

That's exactly what I was thinking XD.

It's a bit late, however Happy Birthday *ahem* Maxi!

[Nightscape]

It's good to see you posting in the forum again, Sera.

Yeah, I'll never miss Maxi's birthday. It'd be far too difficult. IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!

Anyways, I'm thinking it's about time I declare Juri evil.

[Sera]

It's good to see you posting in the forum again, Sera.

It's good to talk with you again and see that the Thread of Justice is still running, Nightscape =).

[Nightscape]

Kim: Hello, friends, Patrons of Justice, and fans, it has come to my attention that that I have neglected something. Something I should have taken care of over a year ago. It would seem as though certain people do not understand what it means to practice Tae Kwon Do. They do not know what it means to LIVE Tae Kwon Do. Now, Jhun has his issues: the long hair, the "otaku" nature, and unusually violent—and very permanent—means of rehabilitation. And there is Kang Baedal: the loud, unkempt, salacious, and rude individual he is. Let's not forget Seo: the crybaby and failure extraordinaire. No, this person is not any colleague, student, or prisone—reformed patron of mine. This person—this woman—is a sham. This female seems to believe that Tae Kwon Do is a means to an end, something for her to test her vile nature against her lackluster skills. Well... Unless I've forgotten how...

I AM GOING TO KICK EVIL'S BUTT ONCE AGAIN!

And I am going to kick it so hard that it flies up past the moon, says hello to Galford's ideals on the way up, and smashes straight into JUPITER... AT WHICH POINT IT WILL EXPLODE! An explosion so glorious that not even Clark’s shades will protect his eyes from the brilliant light! THE LIGHT OF JUSTICE!

JURI! Let me show you how to do this Tae Kwon Do thing THE RIGHT WAY!

Okay, girl--and I use that term loosely—where in what school did you learn those strange, purple energy techniques? Those things appear too closely akin to Yagami's wretched flames! Are you cursed or are you using that foul magic as an excuse to cover for your subpar abilities. No amount of purple smoke and mirrors is going to hide your horrible form and sluggish movements. Nor is it hiding any of that skin you are revealing. PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!

And that eye? “Feng Shui Engine?” Fool! I do not need an engine to move the gears of JUSTICE. My legs are pistons, pumping the lifeblood of righteousness through the veins of a BODY OF RECTITUDE! Let it be known that I, KIM KAPHWAN, provide the power and energy for goodness WORLDWIDE! There is not a single country on planet Earth that has not seen or felt my awesome presence! There is not a man alive who does not rest easy knowing that I walk the streets! THERE IS NOT AN EVIL THAT I HAVE NOT YET—or plan to at least—CRUSHED! But you… You and your “Feng Shui Engine” are about to THROW AN AXLE OF WICKEDNESS AND GET KNOCKED OFF YOUR MALEVOLENT ALIGNMENT! That aside, is that thing not one of your eyes? And isn’t Feng Shui related to furniture? Are you not more suited to interior design rather than fighting? There are plenty of cells here on the compound that could use some good luck. Perhaps you can help the Justice Alley out—AFTER AMPLE REHABILITATION!

And now, Juri, you and your Fake Kwon Do are about to fall to my wrath. After I am done with you I am going to find whoever trained you and BEAT THEM TO A PULP! After that I will find everyone they ever trained, the families of said trainees, and their neighbors AND BEAT THEM FOR GOOD MEASURE. Prepare yourself for the ultimate match! AKU WA YURUSAN! Feng Shui only did me good in Animal Crossing! HAAA!!!
---
Kim: Everything he says is either true or incredibly handsome.

***

Hey, look! Haven't been here in a while! Cheers from another warzone!

WATAA!!!

[Running Wild]

"AN' DATS WHATCHA GET FOR TOUCHIN DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKS! FUCK HEAD!"



Ahem.

Mentlegens.

I do believe you are a scrub. And a coward. A total pussy. The lowest denominator of a man.

I love a good man to man fight. One on one. Mano el mano. But there is nothing more I hate... THAN YOU BACKSTABBING PIECES OF SHIT SPIES! GOD DAMMIT! WOULD YOU LET ME BUILD MY SENTRY AND DISPENSER IN PEACE? Always, always, ALWAYS, you and your pussy Spy coward buddies harassing me with your stupid little sappers, just to distract me long enough so you can stab me in the back while your incompetent team mates grab the Intelligence. FOOLS! FIGHT ME LIKE A REAL MAN!

But you cannot! You are weak and pathetic! I'd break your skull in with one kick, but why dirty my feet with your bad blood when I got a perfectly good heavy wrench to whack you with? Yeah, you better run. My best buddy, the Pyro, has my back.

Now I think I'll go visit the Scout's Mom. Oh, what was that? You were seeing her? Not anymore pal!


"I PROMISE YOU... PEEEEEENUS! WITHOUT END!"

[Sera]

[...]

And now, Juri, you and your Fake Kwon Do are about to fall to my wrath.
[...]

***

Hey, look! Haven't been here in a while! Cheers from another warzone!

WATAA!!!

Kim always comes up with some funny quips that are able to put a smile on my face.

I hope everything is all right over there, Nightscape.

[Don Vecta]

LOL, two hit combo of awesomesauce! It was about time to give justice to Juri! I knew Kim wouldn't be happy with her at all, considering she's the anti-thesis of everything righteous he is! xD

[Nightscape]

Jae Hoon: Father, what's that you're writing?

Kim: This is a card for another Patron of Justice.

Jae: (inspects envelope) We have dojangs in Queensland, Australia?

Kim: (shakes head) No... Not quite, but this is a favor for an old friend.

Dong Hwan: I didn't think you had any "old fr--

Kim: BY THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD ON THE PLANET EARTH, NO ONE INVITED YOU NOR ASKED YOU TO SPEAK, DONG HWAN!

Dong Hwan: Whoa... Chill pill, dad. (leaves)

Jae: He certainly was out of--

Kim: (epic pose and points to exit) LEEEEAAAAAVE NOW!!!!!

(Jae runs off)

Kim: (sits down) You're distracting me from stamps--STAMPS OF JUSTICE. (leaps up) HOW MUCH IS POSTAGE TO AUSTRALIA FROM SOUTHTOWN! (leaps out window to post office)

[Nightscape]

North of Southtown… METRO CITY HALL! It’s Christmas Eve and KIM IS COMING TO TOWN!

Guy: Cody, I really… Really don’t want Kim in our house.

Maki: I gotta agree, man, that dude is a psychopath.

Cody: Kim helped me clean up my life, guys. I owe him that much. (shrugs) Besides, what else would we do? Haggar is throwing this huge Christmas party and we can’t eat all that food alone.

Maki: (mumbling) The mayor probably could…

Guy:  If Kim starts up his antics this year… (strikes ninja pose) I’ll crush him where he stands!

Cody: (chuckling) You mean like he did when he kicked you out your own apartment?

Guy: HE DRUGGED ME!

Cody: Drugs shmugs, you didn’t stand a chance.

Guy: Sure. (sighs) And it appears you’re still brainwashed.

Outside…

Strider Hiryu: (silent)

Galford: Yeah?

Strider: (silent)

Galford: Let’s do it!

To be continued…

[Sera]

*is waiting to see what they have in mind*

[Running Wild]

Meanwhile across the world, Karnov flew in the air like blimp, because he was a badass pimp. He traveled the skies raining fire throughout the nations, forging the world of his own creation. He laughed merrily, a big evil grin on his face, no Kim dare stand in his place. Civilians everywhere feared his name, knowing life will never be the same.

[Nightscape]

Meanwhile across the world, Karnov flew in the air like blimp, because he was a badass pimp. He traveled the skies raining fire throughout the nations, forging the world of his own creation. He laughed merrily, a big evil grin on his face, no Kim dare stand in his place. Civilians everywhere feared the his name, knowing life will never be the same.

You just put a lot of things in perspective with that post, Izlude.

[Don Vecta]

*draws all his attention to the thread of justice, waiting for the outcome*