"Would you like some cheese with your WHINE?" Stress Rant Corner

[Mikel]

Okay, where should I start?

I posted an entry on my blog six days ago on what influenced my behavior on Pangya from February to August. I believed MvC3 played a huge role on influencing my behavior because two of its characters (Dante and Taskmaster) gave me ideas on how I should act in the game...

Is there any way for an 18 year old like me to improve his behavior on an online game by the time he gets back? A lot of the girls in the guild I am in were concerned because of the change in behavior I went through for the last few months, so I want to know what you guys think I should do to improve such behavior... And I guess not playing as Dante too much in the game would help (because of his girl complex), as switching him out for Vergil is what I plan to do.

petit_rose: Your parents are kind of like my parents: They always tell me what I should do for my own good depending on the situation. But I don't always listen to them because I believe that they would always tell me stuff that would block my path on getting a better life.

I mean, you look like you would be a sweet young lady, but don't let stuff like that get into you, it would just make life more difficult.

[Ryth]

Video game characters are awful role models. Trust me, I was a Squall fan in elementary...

[OrochiLeonaUK]

AND I feel worthless... I feel like I am not studying enough, even through I cannot sleep well for studying late at night. I feel like I am throwing my life away, like I am unappreciating my parents' efforts to give me a good life... I am just desperate, I wish I was not hopeless, I wish I were, at least, intelligent.
My grades are worse and worser, I am getting fattier and uglier, I am a completely idiot teenager complaining about my good life and my laziness to unknown people. Please, God, why did I have to be born?

You just sound like nothing more than a teenager, plain and simple.
Everything you're experiencing is based on the raging battle of hormones, insecurity and struggles with both the academic and the social world.
You sound like every person, myself included, sounded like at your age.
Every line you said is I line I have said, as did all my friends and my brothers and sisters.

Push through it, be the best person you CAN be, without messing yourself up trying to hard to be the person you WANT to be.
Trust me, you'll look back at this period of your life in a few years and laugh at yourself, wondering what you were worried about.

Seriously, I guarantee it.



Oh, whilst I don't know what you look like, you're not ugly.

[Mai~Crimsonheart]

You just sound like nothing more than a teenager, plain and simple.
Everything you're experiencing is based on the raging battle of hormones, insecurity and struggles with both the academic and the social world.
You sound like every person, myself included, sounded like at your age.
Every line you said is I line I have said, as did all my friends and my brothers and sisters.

Push through it, be the best person you CAN be, without messing yourself up trying to hard to be the person you WANT to be.
Trust me, you'll look back at this period of your life in a few years and laugh at yourself, wondering what you were worried about.

Seriously, I guarantee it.



Oh, whilst I don't know what you look like, you're not ugly.

The crazy thing is, people don't understand that when they are so young. I think you might have been a tad harsh on the young lass. My young sister goes through the same thing and all i do is just be patient with her cuz i know she is going through so many things, she doesn't know that but she will later.

[OrochiLeonaUK]

Nothing I said was mean spirited or harsh in anyway. Especially by internet standards.
I was just explaining that being "that age" is a war, one that we all experience and live through. It feels like it is going on forever, and often feels like no-one is on your team, but they are there for you and when all is said and done that you will come out on the other side stronger and, hopefully, more confident.

[cactusmomma]

This is why they say hindsight is 20/20.

Also, fat and uglier? Girl, you're 17 years old. This is your body changing as it should to turn into a woman. As long as you keep yourself healthy, it shouldn't matter what you turn into.* You're into the lolita scene.. which is full of catty bitches who will pick on anything, regardless of their height/weight. Many lolitas are also pro-ana.. so no matter what shape they are, it's never good enough. They feel they're never good enough inside, so they posture non-stop. They look down on everyone to make themselves feel superior.

*Personal story here: Growing up, no matter how much I ate, I had this insane metabolism. At your age, I was 5'8", 115 lbs, 34B-24-30... couldn't gain or lose for nothing. I never paid attention to any of it because I dressed as a guy (still do, but not as fervently). The two times in high school that I wore a dress, the first time, I was told I look like a hooker due to long legs and being skinny as hell.. the second time, I received nothing but hate from the girls for having a flat stomach. Fast forward to age 23... I had my daughter at 21..was 120 lbs, 38D-26-39.. was pretty ok with that. Went on the birth control shot. Gained 50 lbs in one year. The doctor I had told me this was normal. I immediately got off the shot and left that doctor. Ever since, I've had a hard time with my weight... I'm currently 170 lbs, 38DD-31-42... I'd like to flatten my stomach just a little (I have a problem with water retention due to some health fun), but I'll be damned if I deny that I'm not happy where I'm at. I know genetics has taken its course and I feel MUCH better now that I've accepted that this is most likely where I will be for a good portion of my life. Take a step back from what others say when it comes to criticizing you, I know it's hard.. but until you learn to help yourself and to love/accept yourself, you can't even begin to consider what others have to say. There will -never- be a place where you can please everyone.

As for your schooling, what do you see yourself having problems in?

[Mai~Crimsonheart]

I have a huge problem accepting myself ...

It just seems that the more i advance in time, the more different i see myself from other people. Im also very sensitive and that doesn't help me with my self esteem, not does it help with ignoring what people say/think about me.

... I don't know what to do.

[Don Vecta]

I have a huge problem accepting myself ...

It just seems that the more i advance in time, the more different i see myself from other people. Im also very sensitive and that doesn't help me with my self esteem, not does it help with ignoring what people say/think about me.

... I don't know what to do.

Bleh, same thing that happened to me.

Just consider yourself different for good or for bad. Uniqueness can be a blessing and a curse. You can be more admired or can be excluded. It's a double edge sword.

But honestly, if I can choose between being different and being the same as the common people, I prefer to remain unique.

[petit_rose]

This is why they say hindsight is 20/20.

Also, fat and uglier? Girl, you're 17 years old. This is your body changing as it should to turn into a woman. As long as you keep yourself healthy, it shouldn't matter what you turn into.* You're into the lolita scene.. which is full of catty bitches who will pick on anything, regardless of their height/weight. Many lolitas are also pro-ana.. so no matter what shape they are, it's never good enough. They feel they're never good enough inside, so they posture non-stop. They look down on everyone to make themselves feel superior.

*Personal story here: Growing up, no matter how much I ate, I had this insane metabolism. At your age, I was 5'8", 115 lbs, 34B-24-30... couldn't gain or lose for nothing. I never paid attention to any of it because I dressed as a guy (still do, but not as fervently). The two times in high school that I wore a dress, the first time, I was told I look like a hooker due to long legs and being skinny as hell.. the second time, I received nothing but hate from the girls for having a flat stomach. Fast forward to age 23... I had my daughter at 21..was 120 lbs, 38D-26-39.. was pretty ok with that. Went on the birth control shot. Gained 50 lbs in one year. The doctor I had told me this was normal. I immediately got off the shot and left that doctor. Ever since, I've had a hard time with my weight... I'm currently 170 lbs, 38DD-31-42... I'd like to flatten my stomach just a little (I have a problem with water retention due to some health fun), but I'll be damned if I deny that I'm not happy where I'm at. I know genetics has taken its course and I feel MUCH better now that I've accepted that this is most likely where I will be for a good portion of my life. Take a step back from what others say when it comes to criticizing you, I know it's hard.. but until you learn to help yourself and to love/accept yourself, you can't even begin to consider what others have to say. There will -never- be a place where you can please everyone.

As for your schooling, what do you see yourself having problems in?

Yes, unfortunately, one of the most pleasant things in my life has a lot of bad people included in it. When I first saw lolita, I thought that someone understood my person, all the cuteness, the details, the laces, the child-look, the innocent and childish essence in this adult, gross world. But then I met the community, and I felt like a monster for having the same tastes of those girls. I wanted to cry so hard, because what I used to think that was a bright part of me was, in reality, a rotten, spoiled thing. Lolita secrets is the most famous internet part of lolita world, a place with lots of rants, hatred, spoiled girls, things that simply don't match the fashion.

Oh, I can't believe those girls did that to you! I hate people like that so much! I feel bad for them, because it means they are pure insecurity and stupidity. For those reasons, I prefer not to take into account their opinions. But I take opinions of people who I like and admire, so I always try to be the best I can to make them closer to me and to be a good friend to them. I have to improve myself way better to stay in their level and to get out of my degraded situation.

I, actually, am not a BAD student. I enjoy studying, I feel thankful for the opportunities I have, I always try to join school activities, but I am so lazy that sometimes information lack to me, and I have tests everyday, so I  feel like I should study more. What I study seems not to be enough, it never seems.

I have a huge problem accepting myself ...

It just seems that the more i advance in time, the more different i see myself from other people. Im also very sensitive and that doesn't help me with my self esteem, not does it help with ignoring what people say/think about me.

... I don't know what to do.

I understand you, this is basically what I feel. Maybe I am younger than you, younger enough not have reasons to think like that, but still, I feel like I am just a great void at the inside.

[Ryth]

I used to accept myself a lot less than I do now and it used to cause me a lot of pain. Now it just makes me angry when I do something stupid or when I am being shameful. I feel like I'm always screwing things up all of the time.
You know something, maybe I need a big change in my life. But I'm too lazy and caught up on my current ways.

[cactusmomma]

Petit: Most of the girls are still in high school and college.. they don't realize there's more important things in life than BURANDO. I have met some lolitas that fully embrace the fashion and the attitude to come with it. It isn't a fetish to any of them, they do fully enjoy the couture and the grace that comes with it. Unfortunately, it's the same with the cosplay community. All you can do is ignore the negative or try to turn it on them.. 'You see things wrong that I don't.. what would you suggest for me to improve this coord?' Kill the others with kindness, don't give them any room to be a bitch.

As for those girls.. again, it was high school. It's funny.. all of the people that I hated in high school or vice versa.. we've been out for 10 years.. most of us have reconnected over places like Facebook and.. many of us are actually friends now.. or have apologized for being immature idiots.

As for the studying.. it's like drinking alcohol. Use moderation. Sometimes, it feels like you need a lot to get plastered.. if you overdo it, you can get sick, hurt, or injure others. It can ruin yourself and your family. Study -too- much and your brain will fry. You need to make sure you can pace yourself and not overwork your mind. Take breaks if you need to, otherwise you will burn and then not be able to go back to any of it.

[Mikel]

Like DFA, I used to accept myself less because I found myself inferior to others. I could never ignore the taunts and threats people tell me, and I would never seem to just escape my fears back then.

Back then, in middle school, that was when the bullying problem first occurred. I went to a middle school located in a bad neighborhood (That's where the High school I go to is located at). The student's there are not to be relied on, they can easily turn their back on you after two weeks. The third week of school was when people started to bully me.

The students in the schools I went to from that neighborhood are completely immature. And I realized in Senior Year, the reason of why I was bullied was because the bullies think they are really jealous of me. That's how it is in the schools I went to for the last 6.5 years, as those students think they are superior compared to others.

Looking back at it, some of the kids that used to bully me are now my friends, while some... they are still idiots because they still bully me.

This is told from my point of view.

[cactusmomma]

I am getting so ungodly tired of people who have entitlement and victim complexes. YOU may see things from your point of view where YOU can do no wrong, but when there's an entire department of people saying otherwise, LISTEN TO THEM. take a step or 5 back and look at the facts over the dream in your mind. Get your head out of your ass and grow the hell up.

Next week will be FUN.

[Mikel]

I guess you are right, Momma.

Listening to people and taking a few steps back may be the best way to realize the facts the dreams in my mind. I have grown and got serious within the last few months, and apologies for the post, I wanted to share my story from my past.

And yes, I agree. Next week will be fun.

[cactusmomma]

This post wasn't even addressed towards you, nor anyone on these boards. We're dealing with a guy at a convention I staff at. So while it IS advice that works for everyone, it isn't directed at you. Share as much as you'd like.