This is why they say hindsight is 20/20.
Also, fat and uglier? Girl, you're 17 years old. This is your body changing as it should to turn into a woman. As long as you keep yourself healthy, it shouldn't matter what you turn into.* You're into the lolita scene.. which is full of catty bitches who will pick on anything, regardless of their height/weight. Many lolitas are also pro-ana.. so no matter what shape they are, it's never good enough. They feel they're never good enough inside, so they posture non-stop. They look down on everyone to make themselves feel superior.
*Personal story here: Growing up, no matter how much I ate, I had this insane metabolism. At your age, I was 5'8", 115 lbs, 34B-24-30... couldn't gain or lose for nothing. I never paid attention to any of it because I dressed as a guy (still do, but not as fervently). The two times in high school that I wore a dress, the first time, I was told I look like a hooker due to long legs and being skinny as hell.. the second time, I received nothing but hate from the girls for having a flat stomach. Fast forward to age 23... I had my daughter at 21..was 120 lbs, 38D-26-39.. was pretty ok with that. Went on the birth control shot. Gained 50 lbs in one year. The doctor I had told me this was normal. I immediately got off the shot and left that doctor. Ever since, I've had a hard time with my weight... I'm currently 170 lbs, 38DD-31-42... I'd like to flatten my stomach just a little (I have a problem with water retention due to some health fun), but I'll be damned if I deny that I'm not happy where I'm at. I know genetics has taken its course and I feel MUCH better now that I've accepted that this is most likely where I will be for a good portion of my life. Take a step back from what others say when it comes to criticizing you, I know it's hard.. but until you learn to help yourself and to love/accept yourself, you can't even begin to consider what others have to say. There will -never- be a place where you can please everyone.
As for your schooling, what do you see yourself having problems in?
Yes, unfortunately, one of the most pleasant things in my life has a lot of bad people included in it. When I first saw lolita, I thought that someone understood my person, all the cuteness, the details, the laces, the child-look, the innocent and childish essence in this adult, gross world. But then I met the community, and I felt like a monster for having the same tastes of those girls. I wanted to cry so hard, because what I used to think that was a bright part of me was, in reality, a rotten, spoiled thing. Lolita secrets is the most famous internet part of lolita world, a place with lots of rants, hatred, spoiled girls, things that simply don't match the fashion.
Oh, I can't believe those girls did that to you! I hate people like that so much! I feel bad for them, because it means they are pure insecurity and stupidity. For those reasons, I prefer not to take into account their opinions. But I take opinions of people who I like and admire, so I always try to be the best I can to make them closer to me and to be a good friend to them. I have to improve myself way better to stay in their level and to get out of my degraded situation.
I, actually, am not a BAD student. I enjoy studying, I feel thankful for the opportunities I have, I always try to join school activities, but I am so lazy that sometimes information lack to me, and I have tests everyday, so I feel like I should study more. What I study seems not to be enough, it never seems.
I have a huge problem accepting myself ...
It just seems that the more i advance in time, the more different i see myself from other people. Im also very sensitive and that doesn't help me with my self esteem, not does it help with ignoring what people say/think about me.
... I don't know what to do.
I understand you, this is basically what I feel. Maybe I am younger than you, younger enough not have reasons to think like that, but still, I feel like I am just a great void at the inside.